Hetalia Talk show 1
by Snow Tempest
Summary: My OCs... they made a talk show and they have invited some of your favorite characters to the stage as well. Enjoy the sillyness that ensues!


"Welcome to the… HETALIA FAMILY REUNION TALKSHOW!" LaLa Land screamed out loud to everyone.

"I think they've already got that much, Bubbles," Aerica replied.

"Well, I wanted a flashy introduction! I'd like to introduce myself; I am LaLa Land, a.k.a. Bubbles N'Socks!"

"And I'm the Aerican Empire, otherwise known as Zelda Fett! I'm co-hosting this show."

"And I will be too!" A red-haired girl walked in the room, "I'm Hell, but you can call me Lust Envy," she said, winking at France.

"Aw, crap no!" LaLa Land screamed and tried to run for the door, but was blocked by France and Hell.

"Well, let's start with our first segment, shall we?" Aerica asked. "First, we shall find out the true heritage of the German brothers!"

"I have invited Prussia, Germany, Germania, and another special guest here today!" Bubbles grinned cheerfully.

"Ooh! Prussia's coming?" Hell jumped up and down excitedly. "Prussia! Where are you?"

Bubbles grinned and cleared her throat, "Well, due to the rein of King Fredric the second, relationships at court became a thing of the past… oooooh! Look, A butterfly!"

Hell stared in confusion. "Relationships…at…court…? I'd prefer it in a bedroom, thank you very much."

"Well, it wasn't literally in a court! But there was this weird thing about… um, the advisors and rulers having multiple love lives… I want a root beer!" LaLa Land randomly commented.

"Well," Aerica interrupted, "Shall we release the Germans?"

"Aye-aye captain!" LaLa Land cried.

"I can't hear you!" Aerica taunted.

"Aye-aye captain!" LaLa Land repeated.

"OOOOOOO!" They both chorused.

"Oh my devil, you guys. Don't start this…" Hell said, face-palming.

"WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?!" They sang.

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" Prussia replied, clearly a little (no, a lot) drunk. He came skipping through the door like a rabbit on Easter morning(and on steroids) and yodeling like a Swiss man in a dress.

"Bruder, vill you ever shut ze hell up?" Germany yelled, storming through the door.

"Huh? Did someone say my name?" Hell looked up from the book she was reading.

"I didn't know you could read," Aerica muttered.

"Oh, really?" Hell turned to Zelda with an evil look in her eye, "Well look what I'm reading!"

"Aaaaaannnnnddd, I'll take _Fifty Shades of Gray_ for 100 dollars!" Aerica taunted, pushing up her glasses.

"Rainbows and oh my gosh darn!" LaLa Land commented to no one in particular.

"Vell," Germany interrupted. "can ve get on vith zhe show?"

"No, really! I'll be darned, it's Holy Roman Empire!" LaLa Land exclaimed. Both Aerica and Hell stared at LaLa Land.

"What the me?!" Hell added. In the doorway stood a tall men who looked almost exactly like Germany, only he was wearing the most ugly Hawaiian shirt EVER.

"AH! Sorry!" LaLa Land squeaked and imagined his shirt back to normal.

"Holy nuggets of awesome!" Prussia cried, standing there in a red sequined suit.

"That suit is hideous!" Hell exclaimed, making her way to the Prussian. "Fortunately, I can take it off…"

"Ooh! I have it!" LaLa Land squealed in mid-thought. The air around Prussia shimmered and his suit became a Gilbird costume.

"This is hard to get off!" Hell grunted, trying to pull off the bulky yellow costume.

"Can ve just get down to business?!" Germany yelled, banging his fist on a table. As he said this, cotton candy rained from the ceiling.

"VHAT ZHE HELL?!" Germany cried.

"STOP DOING THAT!" Hell exclaimed. "IT CONFUSES ME!"

"I'M SORRY! BUT I CAN'T FOCUS, AND I'M HUNGARY!" LaLa Land wailed uncontrollably.

"Kesesese, you are not! You don't have a frying pan!" Prussia replied, laughing.

"Okay, that's it," Aerica dragged LaLa Land to a chair. "It's time to start the serious stuff."

"But I don't do serious!" Bubbles whined, as she sat down and pouted.

"Well, it's time to start the actual show. Germany, Prussia, before we begin, meet Holy Rome," Zelda swept her hand toward the ex-nation, who sat down between the other two Germans. "So, Mr. Holy Rome, anything you want to say?"

"Yeah, Hi." He said, bluntly.

"Anything else?" Aerica asked, "Maybe to someone in the audience, for example, Italy?"

"Um…" he blushed and stammered. "I… Uh, wanted to tell Germany… not Italy, something."

"Well, make it quick," Hell snapped. "I have a meeting. With Prussia. In my room."

"Germany," Holy Rome turned to him, "You are my son."

"VHAT ZHE HELL?!" Germany cried.

"Seriously, you are confusing me!" Hell screamed, throwing her book at Germany.

"I'M-A SOOOOOOO SORRRRRRYYYYYY! ILIKE MY GERBIL! I THOUGHT BRINGING HIM HERE WOULD SOLVE THINGS! ET TU BRUTE!" Bubbles hyperventilated.

"That's right, folks! Holy Rome is, in fact, Germany's father! Holy Rome, would you like to tell us who his mother is?" Aerica announced.

"Uh, Zelda, could I not…" Holy Rome muttered.

"Aw, fine. I'll Wikipedia it," Zelda said, annoyed.

"Oh by All knowing Worcestershire sauce and great sea turtles, it's Hungary!" LaLa Land cried exasperated.

"Holy Rome, you did WHAT?!" someone yelled from the audience. "I will throw my piano at you…if I had my piano…and I was strong enough to throw such a thing…and if it weren't so expensive to buy a new one…"

"It's okay!" Bubbles grinned, "I can do it for you; I will now reach across space and time for this object of ungainly mass!" With that, a piano fell from out of nowhere above the stage and crashed down onto… Hell.

"Oh, sorry, Hell!" Bubbles giggled.

"It's fine," Hell said, crawling out from under the piano. "Prussia, I hurt myself," she said, looking in a mirror. "See? There's a cut on my lip. Could you kiss it better?"

"Mine Gott, woman! Vhy a TuTu?!" He said, looking at Bubbles, who had accidently turned Prussia's pants into a frilly pink TuTu. Hell just shrugged.

"Easier to get off, am I right?" she dragged Prussia off the stage, smirking. As they were almost out of sight, Prussia's Clothes turned back into the Gilbird costume.

"Hey! Come on! If you can turn Prussia's clothes into a Gilbird costume, why can't you take them off?!" Hell shrieked.

"I don't know! I'm distracted! Somebody in the audience is daydreaming! About… Uh… Hell? What_ is_ this person thinking about?" LaLa Land asked Hell in befuddlement.

"Hmm…they're daydreaming about…wow…love it! Let me think…whoa, never thought of doing _that_ before!" Hell was now completely distracted by the daydream.

"France is in the audience," Aerica translated.

"Uh, no. It's Austria… what's going on?!" Bubbles squeaked. Prussia staggered out from behind the curtains and frowned.

"From Prussia's expression, probably a reenactment of the War of Austrian Succession," Zelda replied, picking up the book Hell had thrown at Germany.

"Vhat?! NO! But, Vait. If Holy Rome is mine bruder… Zhen zhat makes Germany mine… nephew?! VHAT ZE HELL!?"

"Yeah?" Hell asked, turning around.

"Okay, I think that's it for this episode! Next week our special guests will be…the Italy brothers!" Aerica announced, stepping in front of all the chaos.

"Aw, crap!" Hell cried. "Prussia won't reenact the War of Austrian Succession? I mean, if Austria doesn't want to, I could—" she was quickly interrupted by Germany putting a hand over her mouth.

"Do not give mein bruder—I mean uncle- ideas." He growled.

"Okay, Bye-bye! Unicorns to you my fellow cheese-its!" Bubbles laughed and cut the lights.

"Uh…LaLa Land? You have just left France, Prussia, and Hell in a dark room…" Zelda said before retreating with the speed of a thousand Italies.


End file.
